This is the way "should" look but it doesn't feel fulfilling.
You should keep trying to be the "perfect partner" but you have lost YOU in the process.
Like you have no one to that understands.
No one is (or no one will) supporting you in the decisions you want to make.
You don't know how your life should look now.
You don't know what you should want your life to look like.
You don't know you should feel.
You are worried about your kids and what you should do for them.
You are being left behind and you should be able to get out of bed but it is a STRUGGLE!
You are ready for clarity and peace but don't know how to find it or if it is even possible.